Anyone who knows me knows I'm an absolute nightmare. I'm clumsy, cringey, slightly awkward, ridiculously loud and lacking in almost all common sense. Because of all this, my life is what some may call amusing... This week has been particularly bad on the 'making a complete arse of myself' side.
I managed to get a police declaration due to the cash machine swallowing my card just before I was about to pay for a full tank of petrol, this meant that I couldn't pay and therefore had to spend about half an hour filling out a form with questions on like 'what body shape was the person?' and 'do they have any distinguishing features?'. Obvs the form was supposed to be filled out by the person working at the petrol station but he obviously couldn't be bothered so i was left trying to work out if my ski slope nose counted as a 'distinguishing feature'...
I also managed to cover the walls and window of the cafe I work in with ketchup after shaking it from side to side whilst dancing along to the radio. I didn't realise the lid wasn't on and therefore when I shook it to one side (baring in mind I was dancing quite vigorously due to the cafe being empty) it covered the window, and then shook it to the other, it covered the wall and also my cream polo shirt. It was a proper 'TO THE WINDOWSSSS, TO THE WALLSSSSS' moment.
I also hopelessly tries to flirt with a bar tender which backfired and left me £8 out of pocket and with eight shots of a mixture of apple and raspberry sours... WHO ORDERS APPLE AND RASPBERRY SOURZ IN THE SAME SHOT?!
I don't know whats wrong with me, I'm basically just a complete moron...
Hehe, xx
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